CHAPTER 18: I LAUGH CRYING

I got up feeling like crap. Especially since I could remember everything that happened just a few hours ago. Urgh… I couldn’t believe I did that! And to a good friend! I must had been so drunk…

That was what I kept telling myself as an excuse. To make myself feel better. But… How was I going to face him now? I asked myself as I lock my door. I glanced over at Allen’s room. To my surprise, Joy was doing the exact thing as I do. Locking the door from the outside. I cleared my throat and called out to her.

“Joy!” I waved at her and she approached me, smiling in surprise. “Morning,” I greeted her, trying to smile as genuinely as possible. I felt like the worst human being, so, that was not helping the smile.

“Morning,” she returned my smile. Hers was more genuine (duh!).

“Where’s Allen?” I asked as casually, trying not to sound too curious.

“Still sleeping,” she smiled again. “Were you two drinking last night?” she asked.

I stopped cold.

“Yeah… Sorry,” I apologized. For many things.

“He wore me out last night,” she giggled, “He’s always so horny when he drinks,” she shook her head as she giggled, clearly didn’t mind.

We did tell each other such stuff and it wasn’t even the first time I heard such things from her.

But still… This time? Wow

Now I’m feeling waaayyyy worse than I already was. The sharp pain came and went again. It stayed longer this time as I smiled at her.

“Where are you heading?” I asked her, brushing the pain away. Forgetting the fact that I had just betrayed this lovely girl’s friendship, or, tried to.

“Tutor class,” she answered.

“F building?” I asked again. She nodded and we headed there, chatting. Mostly about her job at the advertising company. I tried not to bring Allen up in this conversation. I was afraid if I do, I would just blurt everything out. I didn’t want to. I was scared to. I was a jerk and a coward.

“Oh. By the way. Quin’s having a party at her house tonight. Wanna come?” she asked me.

Quin lived in a big mansion not far from campus. Her parents were out of the country a lot, so she threw a lot of parties at her house. Her parties were always the best. Not only there were tons of alcohol, but also because her peers were the most interesting peers that manage to turn a college party into something more interesting. Her parties usually ended up with people calling the cops on us, or someone started something (a fight, a championship of any sorts, a Guinness world breaking of anything) that always had people talking until the next awesome party.

“Ummm…” I usually, well, always come, but…

“C’mon. It’ll be fun,” she said. “I can’t come to your friend’s party, so I want to party with you tonight. Besides, I have people I want to introduce you to.”

“Really?” I asked, curious.

“Girls, actually,” she giggled.

“Hahaha, really?” I asked again. Not sure what to feel about that. Embarrassed, of course, but other than that? I didn’t know. Not that I didn’t like girls… I mean…

“Yeah. I told my high school friends about you and they said they wanted to meet you,” she told me.  I was getting really embarrassed. And quite flattered, actually. And a little bit relieved.

“Did you oversell me?” I squinted my eyes at her.

“No, idiot,” she hit my arm playfully. “In fact, I don’t exactly have to say anything after I showed them your picture that Allen took when you were in Kintara,” she told me.

Huh? When did Allen take my picture?

“So? You’re coming, right?” she asked again.

“I gotta tell Chuck first,” I told her and she giggled.

“Invite him too,” she said. “Wouldn’t wanna get slammed by him for kidnapping you,” she mocked me jokingly.

“Shut up,” I stuck my tongue at her.

“See you tonight, then,” she waved when she entered the classroom. I waved back and turn around, heading for drama rehearsal, trying not to think, or feel anything.

*

It was 11 p.m. and I was on my third glass of punch, spiked, of course (so high school). I was at Quin’s party. Me and Chuck got here a little while ago and after we greeted Joy and Allen (who acted normal, thank God) and a bunch of other people (that we did know and those we didn’t), Joy immediately shoved me to a group of her friends, female friends. She started parading me around, making me get acquainted with a bunch more of other girls.

I was currently talking to this cute petite girl with braided brown hair. She seemed shy. She was pretty cool though. She majored in visual arts so we had plenty to chat about.

“Yo, Lee,” Chuck called me as he made his appearance, approaching me with two paper cups in his hands. He handed one to me. I set down my own empty cup and took the one from him gratefully. Chuck then sat on the kitchen counter beside me who leaned on the counter. He nodded towards the girl, “Who’s this pretty lady?” he asked me while the girl was eyeing Chuck with a frown and a slightly uncomfortable gaze.

“Kirstie, this is Chuck. Chuck, this pretty lady here is Kirstie,” I introduced the two of them to each other. I could feel Chuck was chuckling beside me before he shifted his body, pulling me so I was standing between his legs, his chin on my shoulder as he continued to grin and snigger like a lunatic. The poor girl’s face started to become redder and redder.

“Which school do you go to?” he asked again, probably intending to scare her off.

“Langton Collage of Fine Arts,” she answered, a little hesitantly.

“Major?” Chuck continued.

“Visual Art,” she answered again, faster this time.

“Organization?” Chuck kept asking, sniggering after each of her answers. I was starting to feel annoyed.

“Art Club,” she almost spat the answer, glaring at Chuck.

Chuck was about to ask another question so I smacked his head.

“Why the hell are you interrogating her?” I snapped at him. Kirstie bit her lower lip, fidgeting on her spot.

“I wasn’t!” Chuck threw his hands up in defense. “I just want to know more about her because she looks so cute and I like cute,” he grinned and then Kirstie’s face was an obvious crimson. I rolled my eyes at Chuck and smacked him again.

“Stop it,” Chuck was still sniggering at her, though, despite my overpowered smack (no, I’d never hit him that hard).

“Fine. I’ll stop. But, do you want me to, Kirstie? I mean, can I not know things about you, Kirstie?” he asked her, spitting her name like venom. I blinked in confusion. Kirstie, however, face red with anger, turned on her heels.

“Fuck you,” she hissed before storming out of the kitchen.

“What is wrong with you?” I smacked Chuck’s head again, turning around to smack his stupid forehead as hard as I ould. Chuck took the chance to wrap his arms around my waist when I did.

“I don’t like her,” Chuck stated calmly. “I don’t like the way she’s looking at you.”

“Yeah? And how was she looking at me?” I snorted.

“Like she wants to eat you whole,” he scoffed. “She’s practically eye-fucking you,” he shrugged and I went to smack him again but he dodged it. “She may look all classy and cute and innocent. But I knew better,” Chuck added. I rolled my eyes at him.

He was very obnoxious. Very rude.

“Just because you’ve been with more girls than I do, doesn’t make you have the right to do that to anyone. That was so uncalled for,” I stated, sighing heavily.

“Yes, I do,” he said calmly.

“Chuck…” I said exasperatedly.

“‘Sup you two?” Carter and Jay approached us, “having a love quarrel?” Carter teased, “again?” he asked. I rolled my eyes at him, crossing my hands in front of my chest.

“Chuck’s being a dick to a chick,” I told him. Dick to a chick… Heh heh nice one, me.

“What chick?” Jay asked.

“Remember Kirstie from last fall?” Chuck asked Carter and Jay who nodded.

Huh?

“The one from Langton?” Carter asked, making sure. Chuck nodded. “Shit, man. She’s here?” Carter’s eyes widened and he looked around, just like Jay did.

“Yep,” Chuck nodded. “She’s trying to get with this idiot here,” Chuck bumped his forehead on mine.

“Wait, wait,” I leaned away from him and frown, “So, you actually knew her?” I asked, confused and a little pissed.

“Dated her for a few days,” Chuck grinned and I smacked his head.

“She’s crazy, dude,” Carter said. I turned my head and frowned questioningly at him. “Got all clingy and possessive and outright insane,” he said and fake-shudders.

“Yeah, right,” I waved my hand at him and turn back to Chuck, “why didn’t I know about this?” I asked Chuck, well, demanding is more like it.

“I’ve told you, actually,” Chuck said, smiling, one eyebrow up. “But you just seem to not love me enough to care,” he teased, pouting.

“That’s not true…” I said automatically, frowning.

“What? So you love me?” Chuck asked, teasing.

“Of course I do!” I smacked his head, again, harder this time. “You’re my best friend, and I’m sorry about Kirstie… I wish I’d known…” I apologized to him.

“Well, don’t worry about Kirstie. So irrelevant,” Chuck said, kissing my forehead. “And I’m not your best friend, I’m your husband,” he grinned while I rolled my eyes.

“My God you two are so adorable,” Joy giggled and I immediately turned to her. I had forgotten that she was also at this party with us. And Allen too.

I turned slowly to face Allen. He was smiling at me, though his smile didn’t seem to reach his eyes as he pulled Joy closer to him. I winced at the already familiar pinch. I turned back to Chuck, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Mind getting me more of this?” I asked, looking up at him. He smiled and pecked my cheek before getting down from the counter and heading outside to the beverage area, followed by Carter and Jay.

“I’m gonna use the ladies’,” Joy said to Allen.

“Ok,” he smiled and pecked her lips before she left.

What? No pinch? Oh, wait. Yup. There it was. I bit my lower lip so as to not wince.

Awkward silence fell upon us without remorse. We hadn’t been alone, just the two of us, since last night. And now that we were, alone (except for hundreds other people walking by drunk, dancing and doing God knows what), I didn’t know what to say and it was dejecting. Well, I should probably apologize to him, right? I mean, I was the one who kissed him first, right? Though he also did an awesome job in kissing me back… that was beside the point, I know, sorry. God, I was a mess.

I unconsciously scratched the back of my head as my eyes faltered to see him whom, to my surprise (no, really, I almost flinched) was staring at me. Shit.

Now I’m scared.

He was looking at me so intensely his gaze actually makes me shudder. From fear and excitement. Can you believe that? I’ve realized now what that pair of beautiful blue eyes were able to do to me. I hated the thought. I shouldn’t feel this way. Not to him.

I opened my mouth and am about to say something to Allen when someone suddenly jumped on my back and “Oofftss,” was the sound I made instead.

“Your beverage, dear husband,” Chuck chuckled as he straightened his back and handed me a paper cup. It seemed that he was already quite drunk.

Well, no surprise there.

“Thanks,” I told him, eyes not wavering from Allen’s intense glare.

“I’ll go look for Joy,” he informed us abruptly before turning on his heels. I gawked, almost calling out to him.

“What’s with him?” Chuck’s question stopped me from doing so. I scratched my head.

“Dunno,” I lied straight to his face, gulping down my drink. Now I felt guilty for two things. I felt like shit. And that was an understatement.