Chapter 30: Tracing His Features From Behind the Book

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“…I’ll make sure to return it.”

Randall set the book aside carefully and reached for the one he had originally intended to read—the book about mages and the origin of magic. He then glanced at Aster, who seemed unsure of what to do next.

Silence stretched between them. He remembered that Aster had already said she was leaving—if only he hadn’t held her up. Sensing that the silence between them might be unsettling for her, he chose not to delay her any further.

“You said you were about to go home. I’m sorry if I took too much of your time. I’ll walk you outside then.” Randall finally said.

“N—no… It’s okay.” Aster hesitated.

‘That’s right… I already said I was leaving…’

For some reason, her body wouldn’t move.

‘Then why… do I have this urge to stay? Somehow… I don’t want to leave just yet.’

Something in her wanted to be with Randall a little longer.

“I—” she started, then quickly glanced at the books she had picked earlier. “I should probably just read these here.”

She gave a small, awkward smile, lightly gesturing to them.

“So I can check which ones I actually need. It might be too heavy to bring everything home…”

“Then I’ll help you carry them,” Randall said.

“Th—that’s not what I mean.”

‘Did I just over explain myself? Ugh… that’s so embarrassing. Now it sounds like I’m practically asking for his help.’ Aster thought.

She paused, exhaled, then added more softly—

“I just want to read them here. Is it okay if I stay a bit longer?”

Randall looked at her for a brief second, and his lips curved slightly into a small smile.

“Of course.”

A quiet relief settled in his chest upon hearing that Aster would stay, though nothing in his calm expression changed. He then opened the book he had picked about mages and began reading quietly.

Aster opened one of her books as well.

She started to scan the pages, but her eyes drifted up almost unconsciously.

She kept being distracted by the fact that Randall was in front of her.

The way his gaze remained steady on the page, undisturbed. The quiet stillness around him. The way the light caught against his features. Aster quickly lifted her book, hiding the lower half of her face behind it.

Her eyes locked on him, her cheeks turning red. This was the closest she had ever really looked at him, as she could never look at him directly before. His intimidating presence alone was enough to make her look away whenever they talked. And somehow, as she stared now… it made her heart feel strangely restless.

Her gaze started to slowly trace his features, as if trying to memorize them. It almost didn’t feel real. His sharp, well-defined features were softened by an effortless elegance.

‘No wonder he draws so much attention… He’s just so…’

 

 Her fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the page.

 

‘…radiant. Like the prince from those stories.’

Her gaze shifted to his well-shaped lips—luscious in form, yet rarely softening into any visible emotion. She held her breath as she looked, her ears growing warmer by the second.

A few strands of his silver hair had fallen out of place. Not perfectly neat like she imagined… but somehow, it only made him look more attractive. Under the golden light, it shimmered faintly.

She froze and quickly lowered her head behind the book, as if she were actually reading, afraid that Randall might have noticed her staring.

Then she slowly peeked again from behind it when she realized he was still completely immersed in what he was reading.

Her attention drifted to his long eyelashes. Beneath them, his eyes were still lowered—focused and unbothered.

‘And just like the moon…

 

…so cold…

 

…distant…

..and…

 

…mysterious.’

Wanting to catch a clearer view of Randall’s eyes, Aster tilted her head and lowered it onto the table, resting her face against its surface—an angle just enough for her gaze to drift upward toward him, her face still half-hidden behind the edge of her book.

His deep blue eyes were bright yet icy, resembling jewels—like glass catching the light.

‘I wonder…

…what kind of thoughts fill that quiet expression…’

Then Katharina’s voice echoed in her mind.
“Lord Randall carried you back on his horse. Like a princess.”

She stilled.

Suddenly, as she stared intently at Randall, an image formed in her mind—the way she imagined how this ethereal-looking man had carried her in his arms. Heat rushed up her neck, spreading to her cheeks. A small breath escaped her, and she suddenly sat up straight as her heart skipped.

Startled by her sudden movement, Randall looked up.

Their eyes met, and Aster panicked.

For a moment, she couldn’t breathe properly. Her heart pounded faster for no reason she could explain. Then her gaze dropped almost instinctively to the book in his hands, words slipping out before she could think—

“Mages?!”

Randall, also startled by her reaction, widened his eyes slightly.

Aster’s mind went blank for a second.

“Uhh—I didn’t know you were interested in mages, Lord Randall,” she said quickly, forcing a nervous laugh, hoping it would mask her reaction earlier.

Randall regained his composure almost immediately, his expression settling back into calm neutrality.

“I think one doesn’t necessarily have to be interested in a subject in order to read about it,” he said evenly.

Aster flushed, realizing how silly her question sounded.

“Y—yeah… I guess you’re right,” she laughed awkwardly.

‘Drat… what am I doing? I really should’ve just gone home… I must sound so ridiculous right now.’ she thought.

Randall, noticing the faint tension in her voice, eased slightly—just enough for it to show in the way he looked at her.

“Something you said before made me think,” he admitted.

Aster blinked. “Something I said?”

She hesitated, then frowned slightly as she tried to recall. ‘Did I say something important?’

“But… I don’t remember saying anything that would leave an impression on anyone.”

Randall studied her for a moment.

“During our debate discussion, you were pointing out inconsistencies between Crescentis and Helios. You were so eager to question things that it made me reconsider what we’ve been told—about the Duke of Helios and the dark mages.” He paused. “But… why does it matter to you so much?”

That seemed to settle her. The earlier awkwardness faded as she shifted into more familiar ground.

“Hm… it’s just something I was curious about,” she said. “To be honest, I want to become a diplomatic scholar someday—someone who handles alliances, negotiations, and relations between kingdoms.”

She paused briefly, organizing her thoughts.

“And… well, if I want to do that properly, I need to understand what really happened in the past. Otherwise, small gaps in information can turn into misunderstandings… and those can grow into conflicts. Sometimes even war. If things were clearer, it would be easier to prevent that.”

Randall’s eyes widened slightly, a quiet note of admiration surfacing.

“That’s a much grounded way of looking at it,” he said. “I have to admit… it’s not something I hear often. Most noble ladies are guided toward more conventional paths—not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just… rare to hear someone think beyond it so clearly.”

“But I’m no noble lady,” Aster replied lightly. “And even if I were, I don’t think it’s wrong for a lady to have that dream.”

Randall smiled faintly. “I didn’t mean to sound as though I was dismissing you. In fact… your dream is something this kingdom needs. Your way of thinking is already ahead of some nobles.”

‘Even my parents would likely be pleased to meet her… and would have no objection to her staying by my side.’

The thought startled him.

 

‘Wait. Why did that even cross my mind?’

Aster’s soft, flattered laugh pulled him back to the present.

“Honestly, I’ve also been curious about Helios,” she continued. “There’s barely any reliable record about it—even in a library this vast.”

Her gaze drifted toward the books on the table.

“Don’t you think that if the treaty had continued, things might have been different? The two kingdoms could have grown into something stronger together. It feels like… a missed opportunity.”

She paused before adding “But what I really don’t understand is why the royal family was even in Helios that day. None of the books explain it clearly.”

Randall flinched, his gaze shifting away. He knew the answer.

Since he was a part of that royal family. They had gone to Helios for his engagement to the princess—but he had abandoned that duty for a village girl he had met. Whatever followed had shattered the alliance. Since that day, he had carried the weight of it in silence.

The engagement had been erased from the records—likely to protect his name, and to bury what remained of the treaty between Crescentis and Helios.

Aster noticed his sudden silence. “Lord Randall?”

He recovered quickly.

“Wasn’t it mentioned in the textbook that they were there for an official visit?” he said. “After Duke Lucian’s betrayal—and his ties to the dark mages—the alliance fell apart. That’s the version most records follow.”

Aster frowned.

“But that’s exactly what doesn’t make sense,” she said. “There are too many gaps. If he really wanted power, why disappear completely? Why is there no trace of him? And what happened to the dark mages after that?”

Her voice steadied as she continued, more thoughtful than emotional.

“If everything was left incomplete like this, then the peace we have now might not be as stable as people think. If he were to return, who knows what kind of chaos it could bring? But something tells me the truth about the Duke is more than what the books say. It feels like there’s more to the story than what’s written.”

Randall’s expression hardened slightly.

“That’s what I intend to find out,” he said firmly. “It’s strange that Duke Lucian—the most powerful mage of Helios—never returned after the attack. He could have taken control of Helios if he wanted to, but instead, he vanished without a trace.”

He held her gaze.

“If I can uncover the truth, perhaps Crescentis can clear its name—prove that the royal family had nothing to do with the attack.”

Aster’s eyes lit up.

“Exactly! If we figure it out, everything might finally make sense. Do you think the Duke is still alive?”

“Hard to say,” Randall replied. “But it’s better to be prepared than assume otherwise.”

Aster tilted her head, studying him.

“But Lord Randall… why are you so invested in this?” she asked, then added more simply, “Are you close to the royal family?”

Randall met her gaze—then looked away, just for a moment.

“Oh—of course,” Aster said quickly, a bit embarrassed. “You’re a Marquess’s son. It wouldn’t be surprising if you’re close to them. That was a silly question.”

But Randall’s concern ran deeper than that. He had come far too close to revealing himself.

“As a citizen of Crescentis,” he said at last, “I believe it’s important to set the record straight. For the sake of peace.”

Aster nodded, accepting the answer without suspicion. Then her expression brightened again.

“You’d make a really good diplomatic scholar too, you know.” she said. “You might even be someone the royal court would rely on. If they ever needed someone for diplomacy… I think they’d trust you immediately.”

Randall gave a light cough, as if smoothing over a reaction he was trying to conceal. The corner of his mouth shifted—almost a smile, almost not.

“…You think so?”

Aster blinked, then laughed softly. “I mean—politically speaking.”

Randall exhaled through his nose, something between a sigh and a restrained laugh.

“…I’ll consider it.”

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