Chapter 9

“Dear, would you like to be a cook at my house? I’ll prepare a room for you so you can live there as well.”

At first, Julian wanted Lana to become their adopted daughter. Now, Ratri—Julian’s wife—was offering her a position as a cook in their house. Lana felt tension tighten the muscles in her head. She kept smiling without saying anything.

You want me to be a cook? Don’t you actually mean a maid in your house?

Lana didn’t understand the difference. Was that woman really sure she would only be treated as a cook?

“You’ll get three meals a day. Snacks too. You’ll be paid weekly. You just need to cook, the other house chores are taken care of,” Ratri continued, seeing Lana stay silent.

“After making breakfast, you can get ready for school. Don’t worry, I’ll cover the school fees. I won’t deduct your salary.”

“Thank you, Auntie. I understand your good intentions. But I’ll only accept your kindness, not the offer. This stall is my mother’s legacy, and I prefer working here while meeting many people.”

“Then how about working as a cook at Atmaja Group’s office? Their job is to prepare lunch for the employees.”

“I don’t think an office job suits me yet, Auntie. I’m not sure I could keep up with my coworkers who are already adults and experienced.” Lana refused Ratri’s offer again. In truth, both of the woman’s offers were very worthy of being accepted. It was an opportunity not everyone would get.

But Lana didn’t want to feel indebted or dependent on the male lead’s family. She didn’t want to hate them while still accepting their hand because of need. Her heart wasn’t as kind as she showed outwardly.

Besides, she remembered that accepting their help was the same as giving them the chance to feel as though they had already done so much for her—justifying themselves the right to belittle her. And didn’t she end up in a miserable state when she became their child in the novel? She admitted, that happened because she played the role of a villainous side character. Otherwise, things might have been different.

Still, hatred wasn’t something easily hidden. Who knew when Lana would ever be free from it? It felt like only yesterday her parents had been there for her. Her grief hadn’t yet subsided. Not even a week had passed.

“Not because you hate us, right?”

Lana didn’t say yes or no. She only gave a sorrowful smile.

“Please, Auntie. I just want to live my life. I’m trying to survive. I’m just an ordinary girl, not yet grown. I need time to make peace with my heart.” Then she moved away from Mrs. Ratri.

She decided to take over Audy’s task of serving other customers, while Ratri sat in silence for quite a while. The food on her plate remained untouched. Lana glanced at her occasionally. Though she felt sorry for the woman’s sadness, she hardened her heart and ignored it.

The woman eventually left, taking a new packed meal to bring home while the half-eaten plate was left behind to be discarded.

Lana looked at Ratri’s leftover plate with displeasure.

“Miss… should I throw this away?” Herman asked, ready to clear it for washing.

Lana shook her head. “Separate it from the untouched food. I’ll eat it. Earning money for food isn’t easy. Many beg for a spoonful of rice.” She turned away coldly. Perhaps driven by her resentment, she criticized Ratri’s behavior once the woman had gone—even though she had already paid for the food, and thus had every right to eat or not eat it.

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Back home, Lana bathed and rested for a while. But afterward, she had to go to the chili farm. Her father’s chili plants had to be watered with fertilizer solution once a week, and sprayed with insecticide and fungicide. She carried a bucket, straw hat, gloves, blue and black fertilizer, and a mask.

She drew water from the well in the garden and mixed it with fertilizer. Each chili plant was given one glass of the solution. One short row of chili plants held around twenty stems, while a long row had more than fifty.

Her father’s farm was fairly large. It took her a long time just to finish a few rows, while the day grew darker. Her hands were too small to lift a full bucket of water and carry it while watering each plant.

As the evening deepened, her mind seemed cornered by the harshness of the world. She thought of how her father had worked in this very field while alive. Now she felt the burden of the work he had done. She thought of the pressure her mother had endured—facing people, starting the day by buying cooking ingredients while others were still comfortably asleep under their blankets.

And with all her parents’ struggles, how dare a woman who perhaps had never known hardship look at her mother’s food stall with such pity—as though it was something lowly and shameful. The time that passed afterward she spent suffocated by that feeling. It was called heartbreak.

“Maybe because I look so poor, that woman belittled the work I do,” Lana told herself after long reflection.

“If I show results, maybe Mrs. Ratri will stop and never again suggest working at her house.”

But what was more important to her now? Proving herself, or simply focusing on earning and saving money? Why should she prove anything to someone who wasn’t even part of her life?

Why should other people influence her actions? Tears welled in her eyes. She was only 14 years old, and yet she had to feel the sting of her work being looked down on instead of praised. Perhaps that was why she developed a fever after returning from the farm, crying even in her sleep.

In her dream she saw her parents—so distant, unreachable. It only made her sadder. She called out to them not to disappear, but reality was painful.

“Should we call a doctor? I don’t know how to care for a child who’s lost her parents,” Audy said, wiping the tears streaming from Lana’s eyes. She had already done so many times.

“Let’s wait until tomorrow. If Miss wakes up, the first thing she needs is food and medicine for the fever,” Herman told Audy. “If her fever doesn’t go down, we’ll take her to the hospital.”

Audy and Herman stayed by Lana’s side. So anxious, they finally gave her fever syrup even while she slept, hoping she’d get better by morning. Their efforts weren’t in vain.

The next morning, Lana woke up healthy. She went to the market again to buy ingredients, opened the stall, cooked, went to the farm—another day passed. Without realizing it, a month went by. Lana even hired extra workers for her stall once she was sure she could pay them. Audy and Herman also received wages from her, despite already being paid by Julian. It wasn’t much, but they looked proud to see her able to pay them.